Hikarion's Journal

Mother of God Its a Post?!
Might use this from now on, but i really doubt it heh.

Weekend was good, spent a lot of time with lindsay which is always very nice :) but also got to hang out with june who i haven't seen in a while, was really fun, thanks for the stuff btw

While i did have a good weekend overall, Saturday was dissapointing, i didn't have a good time which brings me to why i really wanted to post in the first place.

When june came over friday and we installed ddr mixes and played them i got all excited about saturday and it brought back a lot of memories, so i told some of the old crowd about it, and asked if they wanted to come over to hang out, play some games and just relax (i wanted to relax too, just hang out). I can count on 1 hand how many people i told personally about this, and the people that i specifically asked those said people to ask for me. Yet we had probably close to 20 people, most of which i'm not really good friends with (the people i wanted to hang out with that day) Now don't get me wrong, i dont not like these people, but sometimes you just want to relax with a few people. When you have 10+ people in your house, some of whom you've never even seen before or know, you can't relax and have a good time. I seriously dont understand why the one well dressed kid who talked on his cell phone the whole time was there, or who told him - he didn't play games, i have NEVER seen him before.. i mean honestly come on i would really like to know who invited him to come becuase thats just not right, i was pretty mad hearing people give directions to people over the phone like its some kind of public place.

Its not anyone's fault really, i understand the dynamics of the group, and that in the past my house has been like "anyone and everyone" can come, and its probably viewed more like a public gathering place than an actual house, and i understand that, but i just want to set the record straight, i dont want any more gatherings - period. I dont enjoy them anymore, maybe i've outgrown them. I seem to just not feel right, or fit in with a lot of people, maybe i've changed, maybe people have changed either way - i just dont like hanging out like that anymore. Even if it wasn't my house.

People are everywhere, people as loud as hell, they make a mess (extra thanks to TF who helped clean up, greatly appreciated) One thing that really makes me angry is the fact that people ignore or don't care there are other people in the house (read: my family) most of which sleep at like midnight, its not cool to be insanly loud at 2am, while that doesn't bother me too much, the fact that when i tell people when they are leaving late DO NOT talk when you are upstairs by the door, no one can seem to actually not talk.

But you know what, all that stuff isn't a big deal becuase at a gathering thats what happen, the main reason i'm writing this is because i just dont like big gatherings anymore because all that stuff comes along with it.

It used to be ok because i had a lot of fun, but for some reason all the past few gatherings i've just not been into it like i used to, i'm not really into the games anymore which is a big part of it.

I think the high point was at around 3:30am walking downstairs and seeing like 8 people crowded around a garbage bag fighting over expired sandwhiches from meijer screaming and shouting. I dont like staying up all night anymore really, im just not into a lot of things that these gatherings are all about.

Of course i am still doing the Christmas thing, but im just going to say in advance i'm handing out physical invitations, i'm not doing this to be elitest or something gay like that, but i really just want to be able to relax and have a good time myself. And people dont have as much fun if its a mob scene like saturday was.

I completely understand why saturday happened and i'm not mad at anyone or upset, so please dont IM me saying sorry, becuase everything is cool, i'm just writing this becuase basically, if i say "hey i'm going to have people over, would you like to come" it doesn't mean "im having a gathering and anyone can come tell your friends" anymore like it used it. It just means
"hey, I'M asking a few people if they want to come over, would you yourself like to come over too"

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